Twenty-six years ago this year, I met a nice boy from Brighton’s famous Hove by the name of Damian. He seemed harmless enough, apart from an upsetting habit of pronouncing Velcro “velcrove”. Over the next couple of decades we shared various experiences: him singing “Common People” for a ramshackle cover band I presided over; me leaving him and all his worldly possessions in a van for two hours outside Shepherd’s Bush Empire while I was inside moshing to Ben Folds Five (I forgot to give him the keys); him being my best man in New York; me being his worst man in Hollywood. I had my music, he had his acting, and we met somewhere in the middle to compare notes and receding hairlines.

In 2010, he overlooked years of general disappointment by entrusting me with the music for his debut short film, Fish!. (You can read about it here). Two years later he came to me again, this time asking me for ten times as much music for a short film called The Five Wives And Lives Of Melvyn Pfferberg. Thinking to myself, “he’s bound to change the title at some point”, I again accepted the challenge. (You can read about it here.)

So it gives me gargantuan surges of inappropriate delight to announce that at long flipping last, everyone in the world can part with a small amount of cash and download the damn thing from your favourite online entertainment retailer onto your block of technology du jour. It’s a pretty damn fabulous film, with many opportunities to chortle your ass off. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also the theme song (at the end of the film, for those who want to cut to the chase), composed by me, played by Nick Coates, Merlin Shepherd and me, produced by Max Gilkes (Brighton’s answer to Trevor Horn) and sung by none other than Melanie Chisholm, known these days as Melanie C and for at least part of her life as Sporty Spice.

Here it is on Google Play

Here it is on Amazon

Here it is on iTunes

Enjoy.

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